T'en Vas Pas
by Hasty
Summary: Kenpachi knows he should find a home for Yachiru, but it's difficult to give her up. Yachiru doesn't want him to leave- and maybe the best place for her is right by her 'Ken-chan's' side.


**Tito Kube owns all, except for the theme, which I borrowed from Elsa. Music: Orihime's character theme "T'en Vas Pas" by Elsa. Pre Soul Society, set early on in Kenpachi and Yachiru's relationship. Also includes two or three , but no real romance.**

Kenpachi Zaraki patted the small girl on his shoulder. He knocked on the door with his other hand. He was doing this for Yachiru, he reminded himself. She deserved a home, and he couldn't give her one. Even though it broke his heart, he had to give her up.

He and Atsuko weren't making much progress on their own, so it was time to broaden the search.

A young woman opened the door. She took a step back when she saw him.

"Are you here about a bodyguard job, sir? If you are, the master's got enough men already."

"Nah, I'm here to see his wife. Would she know if someone 'round here wanted to take in a brat?"

"Well, yes.." the young woman said. "I'll take you to her."

88

Misato Terashima was used to handling any and all sorts of situations. She was, at the moment, out of her depth. The reiatsu was making her dizzy, and the contrast between the hulking man and his infant was frying her brain cells.

"So how old is Kusajishi-chan?" she asked, trying to keep her mental bearings.

"Yachi'll be a year old next February. At least, that's my best guess," Kenpachi replied, watching Yachiru gnaw on her teething ring.

"You don't know how old she is?"

"Her parents died in a bandit attack in Kusajishi. I was hunting bandits over there, when I stumbled across her. I figured she might as well tag along with me for a bit."

Kenpachi had already decided that there was no sense in telling anyone that he'd thought those would be her last days. Baby brats didn't do well without their parents, at least from what the first Yachiru'd told him.

But he'd thought the second Yachiru could spend those last few days as comfortable as he could make her. It'd thrown him for a loop when he realized that she was thriving on his inept care.

"She's weaned, right?"

"Yeah."

Ugh, weaning. Her parents had apparently begun nudging her toward solid food, with supplements as needed. For the first few days, Yachi hadn't quite gotten the message that the milk bar had closed down for good. She'd tried to sleepily nurse a couple a times and given him a baby glare when she realized no milk was forthcoming. At least she seemed to like stews, soups and porridge, so she wasn't starving- even if she preferred to wear her porridge rather than eat it.

"And she's still in diapers?"

"Yep. I'm tryin' to introduce her to toilets, but it'll be a while before she gets the hang of 'em."

"Why are you giving her up?" Misato asked.

"I don't have a home to give her. Come spring, I'm heading for the Seireitei, and she might not survive life on the road. I'm used to rough living, and she deserves better. I have one request: I want to see the family that she's placed with, and her name can't be changed. When she's old enough, I'll send for her, and she can join the Academy."

"All right," Misato said, finally. "I'll keep her here tonight, and I'll let you sit in on the interviews."

He nodded and patted Yachiru on the head. "Have a nice life, Yachiru."

He was by the gate when he heard the first heart-breaking wail. He gritted his teeth and continued walking.

88

Kenpachi went through his duties mechanically. Most of the job was just sitting around, making sure no one got too rowdy in the bath-house. Yeah, yeah, it was really a brothel, but the owner tried to keep her girls and boys safe.

They were all past puberty, and everyone got their own rooms, which far surpassed the standards of most Rukon establishments. He still felt hollow without that familiar slight weight on his back.

He nearly jumped a mile when someone tugged his braid. He musta been really out of it.

"Where were your thoughts?" Atsuko asked. "For that matter, did you finally find a home for Yachiru-chan?"

"The Terashimas are keeping her for now. I get ta come and talk with Yachiru's new parents tomorrow."

"You look so sad though," Atsuko said, quietly.

"It's for the best," he replied. "She'll forget me soon enough."

"For who's best interest? You decided that you should give Yachiru up- but from what I've seen, she's happiest when she's with you. You love her, so you should let that be enough."

He sniffed. "Love doesn't put food on tha table."

He'd been happy with 'Chiru-sensei, even though there'd been days where they both went hungry. But he didn't want the little one to be hurt. She should grow up safe and happy. Not starving and one swordstroke away from being an orphan again. He was the only one who'd care about her, and he knew- none better-, the risks of being a wandering swordsman. He was one of the best swordsmen around, but someday, he might meet someone better than he was.

He shouldn't let his selfishness get in the way. She'd be happy with a new family, and he'd come visit her after he reached the Seireitei. If Rontu was right, and Yachiru was a pure soul, her clan might send for her once they knew where she was.

"Have you ever let her starve?"

"It ain't like she eats that much anyway.."

Atsuko patted his hand. "Go back tomorrow. I hope it isn't too late."

He nodded and she departed to clean up after one of the guests. Now his only company was the constant refrain of "baka no Kenpachi, baka no Kenpachi," running on a loop through his mind. No wonder they hadn't made much progress. Atsuko thought she was doing him a favor by giving him time to think!

88

Yachiru cried. She didn't understand why Ken-chan had left her all alone, so she protested the only way she could. She didn't have the words, but she was scared. Papa had left one day, and hadn't come back. Mama had dumped her in a bush and ordered her to stay there until she came back, but Mama hadn't come back either.

When the fox had nipped her, she'd caught a glimpse of Mama. That red stuff belonged in, not out, right? Mama and Papa certainly made a big fuss about it the few times the red stuff had oozed out of her. And Mama had been all covered in it.

Then the bandits had caught her, and then Ken-chan had come. Was Ken-chan out there, all covered in red? She wanted him to come back. Surely, if she screamed loud enough he'd come back. It wasn't like she could do anything else.

88

Kenpachi walked back to the Terashima grounds with a heavy heart. Why did he feel so unhappy? Doing the right thing sucked. The servants looked a bit tired and a few of them glared at him.

"She didn't stop crying until her voice gave out.." he heard one say.

"Poor child.." another replied, scurrying by.

88

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru whispered, as Misato handed her off. Her voice was raspy, Kenpachi noticed. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"I can't do this," he said sadly. "Just use your best judgement. I can get the brats to talk ta ya too. They'll know who's safe and who's not."

He got up, placing Yachiru on the floor.

Kenpachi didn't notice when Yachiru stood up and began determinedly toddling in his direction. Misato did, but decided not to say anything.

Kenpachi felt something warm glom on to his leg and found Yachiru twined around his ankle.

"You little sneak. Don't make this so hard, stupid. I want the best for ya, and it's best ya don't get involved with me."

_You can't end up like 'Chiru did. You're too young to understand, Yachi._

He pushed her off, but she got up again, and walked a few steps. She tripped and began to cry.

"You might as well give up," Misato pointed out. "It seems she's made her decision."

"Ken-chaa, up!" Yachiru chirped.

He picked her up and lifted her in front of his face. She giggled, and for the first time, he realized how connected they'd become. Keeping her with him suddenly didn't seem all that bad.

"Sorry, Terashima, she's staying with me. See ya around."

_It's just as well I didn't bother to line up any candidates,_ Misato thought. Intuition, ten for ten.

88

On New Year's Eve, a month later, he walked onto the roof with Yachiru covered in a blanket. She'd forgiven him quickly for the adoption thing, but tonight he wanted to show her something. Chiru'd shown the same thing to him, years ago. He still remembered the way she'd looked off into the distance, the longing for her home and her comrades clear on her face.

"It's nearly midnight," he murmured, nudging her namesake awake. "Look at the sky, Yachi. See those shadows of buildings over there?"

Yachiru looked, and a plume of colored light suddenly emerged, bursting over the distant towers.

"Sky flowers!" Yachiru squeaked.

"Fireworks. We're going to the place where they come from- the Seireitei. Just you and me, brat."

_I promise,_ he thought. _This time, I'll get it right_._ Even if I fall, even if I die, at least I'll try. And I'll never give up on you again, Yachi. You're staying by my side no matter what._

Kenpachi chuckled suddenly. He'd told 'Chiru he wanted to be a father someday- looked like he was stuck with the parenting gig. She was probably laughing at him, wherever she was now.

He wasn't Yachiru's father, but he was the closest thing she'd got. He'd make mistakes, sure, but as long as they were together, everything would turn out all right.

_**Eek. Apparently my muse is bipolar. Happy stories one week, angst fest the next. I was trying to update my stories-don't worry, they will be updated this week, if I don't get my butt kicked by real life again. I guess this is my contribution for father's day. **_

_** Please take into consideration that Kenpachi probably faced a big disruption in his life when he started taking care of Yachiru. He does like her, maybe even love her at this point, and at least he tried to find a home for her- unlike certain people in the Bleach cannon. Also, the spacing on my computer went wonky. **_

_**And yes, Atsuko does like Kenpachi, but he's got so much else going on, he doesn't really notice. **_

**_Er, reviews graciously accepted. Keep flames to the minimum please. _**


End file.
